September

Though there are already lebkuchen in the shops, it's autumn only. You can feel it in the crisp of the air. You can see the leafs change their colours slowly. I saw the first migrant birds and i feared i had missed the chestnuts. Today i saw the first sunrise of this fall and it was beautiful.

i wish my words would fall to the paper like leafs to the ground. easy, with a pain of parting though, soft, sometimes twirling in the wind, but always getting to the ground. My words and i, we struggle a lot this year. We lost faith in each other somehow. I don't know how or when or why. It just happened. And it's hard to find our way back together. I know, once i start writing, it will get better eventually. But i can't bring myself to write more than just a few words because i'm afraid. Afraid the words don't fit. Afraid what i write is all rubbish. Afraid my worlds don't make sense and my characters are not authentic and flat. I'm afraid to read what i once wrote and loved well enough, too. It could have changed and now be as worse as one can imagine.
Did you ever lose faith in your words? In your ability to write? What did you do? Do you have some advice for me? What can i do?

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Kommentare: 3
  • #1

    Christina Ochs (Mittwoch, 16 September 2015 15:17)

    I'm sorry you're feeling bad about writing! It seems to come around to many of us every now and then. When it happens to me, I try to give myself some time off without feeling guilty, which is harder than it sounds if you always feel like you "should" be writing. Still, the time away usually makes me realize how much I love to do it, even if I think it's crap. :-).

    I try to set an end date to the time off, but when i start writing again, I don't work on any particular project, I just force myself to write something for at least a few days- in my case, usually journal entries. After doing that a few times, the creative juices usually get flowing again, enough to overcome that fear that blocks us in the first place.

  • #2

    Tara (Mittwoch, 23 September 2015 12:10)

    Hi there. Sorry to hear you're struggling. Here's what I do sometimes: have a pen and paper near the bed. When you wake up in the morning, don't get out of bed. Just sit up, open your eyes, pick up the pen and paper and start writing. Don't think about it. Just write. Sometimes I even start with "I'm up and feeling tired...." and just go from there. Do that every day for a week or two and see if that helps to get you going. If nothing else, it might help you realize some things you're thinking and don't know it. Good luck! :)

  • #3

    marie (Donnerstag, 12 November 2015 10:59)

    Dear Christina and Tara :)
    Thank you for your kind words and your advise. I think, maybe my problem was not the writing, but the story i was working on. I couldn't relate to it and it always felt like i was forcing the letters onto my notebook. I put this project to rest and will return to in again in the future.
    And i'm going to try writing in the morning :)